I am so glad you wrote this and I feel so grateful I happened to see this. This post is my first introduction to your work. Hi guys!
The topic of the intersection of beauty and spirituality and dress has been on my heart in the last few months. I cared for my husband around the clock through terminal illness until he graduated to Heaven this year. During the sleepless nights and days of caregiver season I lived in cozy athleisure and a messy bun by necessity. I had to dress comfortable enough to nap in my clothes and ready to go to the hospital at a moment's notice. On the few occasions he felt able to go to church I made sure we were both dressed in Sunday best. One of the unexpected gifts of this current season when he is well and perfect with the Lord is I can slow down and enjoy choosing the dress and jewelry I feel like wearing and doing my hair and makeup because I'm no longer in constant emergency mode. Even amidst grief, I feel surprised by how profound and comforting it feels to dress and adorn myself in a way that makes me feel beautiful and at ease. Helping me come home to myself get reaquainted with myself.
Glad you found your way to us Robin! Thank you for sharing your story; it's good to hear that you were able to find some solace after such an ordeal, and it's nice to hear that taking care of your dress played a role. It's something we hope we can help promote to more people.
Good article and the argument for dressing well needs to be pushed. It's an easy way, if not the easiest way, to fight against the drudgery and ugliness of the world. It should also be pushed at parishes considering the state of men's clothing choices at mass.
Exactly. We don't need to be boisterous or over the top to affect change. Simply dressing the way you'd like to see others dress has a quiet power to influence others for the better.
As for dressing for mass, we'll definitely be covering that in the future at some point. It's an important conversation.
Goodness, this article feels important (and convicting!) to me! As a person who formerly obsessed over my appearance in my youth…and then shifted into not caring about it at all (for various reasons) in my adult years…this article brings balance and clarification for me! Thank you. Will take this to heart, starting NOW!
Interesting article, as someone who’s been interested in men’s style forever but is also a Christian I have at various points felt conflicted about it. You make a good argument for how we can be conscientious about our appearance in a positive way.
I think one thing making this somewhat complex for men is that a lot of guys don’t realize there’s anything between dressing like a slob in sweatpants and hoodies and a millionaire playboy in a suit. My own style is vintage Americana of the sort you see in photographs by Russell Lee in the 30s and 40s - classic fit jeans and denim jackets and shirts, leather jackets, flannel and chambray western shirts, engineer boots, tucked-in tees and mid century casual short sleeve shirts in warm weather. This style creates the impression that you care about how you look while also being practical about it, and it fits right in with my context of being a traditionally minded fellow living in the Appalachian South.
A lot of my clothes are very nice pieces made in the US or Japan, but only other enthusiasts tend to pick up on the finer points, which is okay by me. This is a look I can wear at home, at work, or at my Orthodox parish and look good without seeming out of place.
I really enjoy your articles. I'm not sure if you've ever addressed this, but I live in Arizona where we had 90 consecutive days over 110 degrees in 2024. Summer now stretches from late May to mid October (above 100) in the worst years. I really struggle with how to dress well in this climate. The idea of wearing a suit is out the window, shorts are necessary outside of the office, but I always feel too casual or childish in them. If you ever want to do a desert series--I would love that!
I have an etiquette question: is it appropriate to wear black tie to the opera or ballet (good seats)? There are so few opportunities to wear a tuxedo… when you have one, it’s nice to make use of it.
-On opening nights, galas, premieres and benefit performances, black tie is certainly safe if not called for.
-At major historic opera houses like the ROH, Wiener Staatsoper, or La Scala, you can get away with black tie pretty much whenever
-At smaller regional opera houses, matinées, or regular weekday performances, black tie might feel like a bit much. Use discretion: black tie at a Sat night performance will feel more natural than at a Sunday matinée.
Hope that helps! Let us know if our subscriber chat if you manage to wear your tux sometime soon 🙌
And yes, I wore it to a performance of Don Quixote at the Bolshoi on a weeknight and felt comfortable. The one addition I might make is it also depends on where your seats are because many opera houses (including the Bolshoi) have inexpensive seats far away that tend to be taken by pensioners and students—there black tie might appear comical.
Fascinating article. Always disturbed me how Americans dressed but an even bigger problem is that high quality clothes in America are far too expensive for the average person. Often I have to wait for my next vacation to Europe to go shopping. This needs to change, but this article sheds light on an even more fundamental issue for me — how we live needs to change. Fewer people care about their style when we’re all stuck commuting on highways to get to our destination. Far too many people either can’t afford to live in walkable areas that depend on public transportation where they have to be seen throughout the day, or they just don’t want to live in these areas. Sorry if this offends anyone, but I say the suburbs have caused a lot of our aesthetic disfunction. Too much reliance on cars and far less walking ultimately means less interaction with people. Taken into account, it’s no wonder why style disappeared as well. It’s no wonder why local tailors went out of business while Walmart became the end all be all for grocery stores. Prior to the suburban sprawl in the 1950s, this wasn’t a problem. That’s enough from me though. Thanks for writing, I loved the article, love the name of the publication, & can’t wait to see more of your work in the future.
This is an amazing article! Thank you so much. My mother used to tell me, if she was displeased at what I was wearing, “Other people have to look at you.” So I knew that her generation (born in the 20s)had a different outlook on dress and deemphasized personal comfort in favor of thoughtfulness towards other people when it came to clothing and personal appearance. But I never had thought of the spiritual significance of how we dress. I love how you tie in clothing with the virtue of beauty. It makes perfect sense.
Not sarcastic: wouldn't this also be an argument (and worth an article about), why we need to eat better and exercise so our bodies are not fat and slovenly, and how there is at least as much (if not more) evidence for that than dressing well?
I am so glad you wrote this and I feel so grateful I happened to see this. This post is my first introduction to your work. Hi guys!
The topic of the intersection of beauty and spirituality and dress has been on my heart in the last few months. I cared for my husband around the clock through terminal illness until he graduated to Heaven this year. During the sleepless nights and days of caregiver season I lived in cozy athleisure and a messy bun by necessity. I had to dress comfortable enough to nap in my clothes and ready to go to the hospital at a moment's notice. On the few occasions he felt able to go to church I made sure we were both dressed in Sunday best. One of the unexpected gifts of this current season when he is well and perfect with the Lord is I can slow down and enjoy choosing the dress and jewelry I feel like wearing and doing my hair and makeup because I'm no longer in constant emergency mode. Even amidst grief, I feel surprised by how profound and comforting it feels to dress and adorn myself in a way that makes me feel beautiful and at ease. Helping me come home to myself get reaquainted with myself.
Glad you found your way to us Robin! Thank you for sharing your story; it's good to hear that you were able to find some solace after such an ordeal, and it's nice to hear that taking care of your dress played a role. It's something we hope we can help promote to more people.
Thank you PJ
Beautifully said.
Thank you El Mike-o
Good article and the argument for dressing well needs to be pushed. It's an easy way, if not the easiest way, to fight against the drudgery and ugliness of the world. It should also be pushed at parishes considering the state of men's clothing choices at mass.
Exactly. We don't need to be boisterous or over the top to affect change. Simply dressing the way you'd like to see others dress has a quiet power to influence others for the better.
As for dressing for mass, we'll definitely be covering that in the future at some point. It's an important conversation.
Someone (Frank Lloyd Wright??) said “beautify your world and you beautify the world of everyone around you.” Wise words.
Love this so much, thank you for writing this!
Goodness, this article feels important (and convicting!) to me! As a person who formerly obsessed over my appearance in my youth…and then shifted into not caring about it at all (for various reasons) in my adult years…this article brings balance and clarification for me! Thank you. Will take this to heart, starting NOW!
That’s wonderful Kelley, thanks for sharing! Glad we could bring some clarity to your life on what is an understandably difficult topic.
Thank you for sharing this Kelley 🙏 Best regards to you!
Good stuff! I’ve been wanting to learn how to dress better and have never taken the time to do so.
Interesting article, as someone who’s been interested in men’s style forever but is also a Christian I have at various points felt conflicted about it. You make a good argument for how we can be conscientious about our appearance in a positive way.
I think one thing making this somewhat complex for men is that a lot of guys don’t realize there’s anything between dressing like a slob in sweatpants and hoodies and a millionaire playboy in a suit. My own style is vintage Americana of the sort you see in photographs by Russell Lee in the 30s and 40s - classic fit jeans and denim jackets and shirts, leather jackets, flannel and chambray western shirts, engineer boots, tucked-in tees and mid century casual short sleeve shirts in warm weather. This style creates the impression that you care about how you look while also being practical about it, and it fits right in with my context of being a traditionally minded fellow living in the Appalachian South.
A lot of my clothes are very nice pieces made in the US or Japan, but only other enthusiasts tend to pick up on the finer points, which is okay by me. This is a look I can wear at home, at work, or at my Orthodox parish and look good without seeming out of place.
This is so good 👏👏👏 I may have to use some quotes from this in a project I’m working on about person style. So well written!
Glad we could help!
Love it 👏🏽👏🏽
I really enjoy your articles. I'm not sure if you've ever addressed this, but I live in Arizona where we had 90 consecutive days over 110 degrees in 2024. Summer now stretches from late May to mid October (above 100) in the worst years. I really struggle with how to dress well in this climate. The idea of wearing a suit is out the window, shorts are necessary outside of the office, but I always feel too casual or childish in them. If you ever want to do a desert series--I would love that!
Upcoming What’s In a Fit articles will tackle how to dress well in the heat. Keep an eye out for those, especially once spring starts to roll around
I have an etiquette question: is it appropriate to wear black tie to the opera or ballet (good seats)? There are so few opportunities to wear a tuxedo… when you have one, it’s nice to make use of it.
Short answer is yes, longer answer is as follows:
-On opening nights, galas, premieres and benefit performances, black tie is certainly safe if not called for.
-At major historic opera houses like the ROH, Wiener Staatsoper, or La Scala, you can get away with black tie pretty much whenever
-At smaller regional opera houses, matinées, or regular weekday performances, black tie might feel like a bit much. Use discretion: black tie at a Sat night performance will feel more natural than at a Sunday matinée.
Hope that helps! Let us know if our subscriber chat if you manage to wear your tux sometime soon 🙌
What a detailed, nuanced response, thank you.
My pleasure!
And yes, I wore it to a performance of Don Quixote at the Bolshoi on a weeknight and felt comfortable. The one addition I might make is it also depends on where your seats are because many opera houses (including the Bolshoi) have inexpensive seats far away that tend to be taken by pensioners and students—there black tie might appear comical.
Fascinating article. Always disturbed me how Americans dressed but an even bigger problem is that high quality clothes in America are far too expensive for the average person. Often I have to wait for my next vacation to Europe to go shopping. This needs to change, but this article sheds light on an even more fundamental issue for me — how we live needs to change. Fewer people care about their style when we’re all stuck commuting on highways to get to our destination. Far too many people either can’t afford to live in walkable areas that depend on public transportation where they have to be seen throughout the day, or they just don’t want to live in these areas. Sorry if this offends anyone, but I say the suburbs have caused a lot of our aesthetic disfunction. Too much reliance on cars and far less walking ultimately means less interaction with people. Taken into account, it’s no wonder why style disappeared as well. It’s no wonder why local tailors went out of business while Walmart became the end all be all for grocery stores. Prior to the suburban sprawl in the 1950s, this wasn’t a problem. That’s enough from me though. Thanks for writing, I loved the article, love the name of the publication, & can’t wait to see more of your work in the future.
This is an amazing article! Thank you so much. My mother used to tell me, if she was displeased at what I was wearing, “Other people have to look at you.” So I knew that her generation (born in the 20s)had a different outlook on dress and deemphasized personal comfort in favor of thoughtfulness towards other people when it came to clothing and personal appearance. But I never had thought of the spiritual significance of how we dress. I love how you tie in clothing with the virtue of beauty. It makes perfect sense.
Not sarcastic: wouldn't this also be an argument (and worth an article about), why we need to eat better and exercise so our bodies are not fat and slovenly, and how there is at least as much (if not more) evidence for that than dressing well?
If it’s real, yes.