My husband and I attended a military ball last weekend. He wore his formal uniform, while I was in a floor-length, vintage-style gown, complete with some of my late great-grandmother's evening accessories and my other grandmother's fur stole. As we walked past the lobby at our hotel, several people made a point of dropping what they were doing to come over and tell us how beautiful and handsome we looked.
Whoever wishes to argue that dressing well does not confer authority has never witnessed firsthand the reactions people have to a military uniform, and not just the dress uniforms for formal events. The regular, everyday flight uniform produces similar results.
What an amazing reflection! And it's weaved in with lessons from the faith as well. Never heard a better argument for dressing well according to your station 😃
So many people dress like slobs these days. It drives me crazy.
Have you two ever written about Baldassare Castiglione and his Book of the Courtier, especially the concept of "sprezzatura"? I'm a new reader of your Substack so I don't know. Maybe you've covered it in the past.
I know two people who worked in Gates organizations (there ARE only two, in fact). In both cases, the staff was instructed not to talk to His Billness if they encountered him.
Because he's much too important to waste time talking to you, peasant.
P. S. Oh, and Bezos of the Bulbous Breasts also comes to mind. Whoo-boy! Talk about trashy and contempt for your fellow humans. Actually, her whole being is an assault on aesthetics.
Just saw that she and her clueless husband have been tapped as honorary co-chairs of the next Met Gala. Good grief. What the hell is Anna Wintour thinking??
I know this isn’t on topic, but my wife and I are starting to expand our family and I find it really challenging to dress up knowing that I’m going to have to feed my kid and they spit up and there’s stickiness and there’s snot and saliva and then mud and dirt from having fun playing with them outside. How do you reconcile this with dressing well?
Stains are a part of living a full life, no shame in getting nice clothes dirty!
That said, wearing darker clothes is a good start. When it comes to pants especially, grass and mud stains are killer, but brown, charcoal or grey flannel trousers can take a beating. Stuff like herringbone patterns also help to camouflage minor mishaps. More durable fabrics in general, waxed jackets, tweed and textured wool are good bets.
At feeding time or when cooking, aprons are a good idea as well and having one on a hanger somewhere nearby means it slips on and off with ease when you enter the dining/kitchen area.
We’ll potentially cover this more in depth at some point in a Friday article for paid subscribers.
A profound piece as always!
My husband and I attended a military ball last weekend. He wore his formal uniform, while I was in a floor-length, vintage-style gown, complete with some of my late great-grandmother's evening accessories and my other grandmother's fur stole. As we walked past the lobby at our hotel, several people made a point of dropping what they were doing to come over and tell us how beautiful and handsome we looked.
Whoever wishes to argue that dressing well does not confer authority has never witnessed firsthand the reactions people have to a military uniform, and not just the dress uniforms for formal events. The regular, everyday flight uniform produces similar results.
It sounds like you both dressed to the nines, good for you!
Yes, dress does communicate authority, whether we want to admit it or not. Historical nobility at least had the good sense to acknowledge this.
“Bill, the problem isn’t that Windows isn’t a decent operating system. It is. The problem is you have no … taste.”
- Steve Jobs (from a joint interview with Gates, somewhat paraphrased)
Jobs was right on the money with that comment!
What an amazing reflection! And it's weaved in with lessons from the faith as well. Never heard a better argument for dressing well according to your station 😃
Glad you found it edifying!
Fascinating essay. Have restacked.
So many people dress like slobs these days. It drives me crazy.
Have you two ever written about Baldassare Castiglione and his Book of the Courtier, especially the concept of "sprezzatura"? I'm a new reader of your Substack so I don't know. Maybe you've covered it in the past.
Thank you, Lisa. My friend James wrote a tremendous article about Castiglione here: https://www.join-invictus.com/p/does-how-you-dress-matter
Oh, yes, I remember that one! I commented on it at the time. Thank you.
Tech billionaires dress like slobs to fool us into thinking they’re just like us.
It’s definitely a factor for some of them.
I know two people who worked in Gates organizations (there ARE only two, in fact). In both cases, the staff was instructed not to talk to His Billness if they encountered him.
Because he's much too important to waste time talking to you, peasant.
There was a book by Anupreeta Das that came out a few years ago and said the same thing.
Wholeheartedly agree. What we wear becomes who we are. I write more about this concept through a lived experienced here https://jes321.substack.com/p/fit-for-purpose?r=1yhozx
I know when you are dressed well you act better.
P. S. Oh, and Bezos of the Bulbous Breasts also comes to mind. Whoo-boy! Talk about trashy and contempt for your fellow humans. Actually, her whole being is an assault on aesthetics.
Just saw that she and her clueless husband have been tapped as honorary co-chairs of the next Met Gala. Good grief. What the hell is Anna Wintour thinking??
Here's a pic I wish I could unsee:
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/02/23/style/jeff-and-lauren-sanchez-bezos-honorary-chairs-met-gala.html
I know this isn’t on topic, but my wife and I are starting to expand our family and I find it really challenging to dress up knowing that I’m going to have to feed my kid and they spit up and there’s stickiness and there’s snot and saliva and then mud and dirt from having fun playing with them outside. How do you reconcile this with dressing well?
Stains are a part of living a full life, no shame in getting nice clothes dirty!
That said, wearing darker clothes is a good start. When it comes to pants especially, grass and mud stains are killer, but brown, charcoal or grey flannel trousers can take a beating. Stuff like herringbone patterns also help to camouflage minor mishaps. More durable fabrics in general, waxed jackets, tweed and textured wool are good bets.
At feeding time or when cooking, aprons are a good idea as well and having one on a hanger somewhere nearby means it slips on and off with ease when you enter the dining/kitchen area.
We’ll potentially cover this more in depth at some point in a Friday article for paid subscribers.
Love the advice! Thank you