Great stuff. It’s striking to me how different the ideal female face is depending on the audience - the ones shown in this article are the ideal, in the eyes of other women, rather than the ideal to men. I straight-up don’t think most men like this look, just like how most men prefer simple, short, or minimalist fingernails and don’t care for elaborate knife-fingernails. The girls trying to maximize their appeal to men have their own ideal template that seems to be descended from Belle Delphine and that OK Boomer girl. But really, I don’t think most guys are real hard to please - that girl on the left side of the thumbnail would be considered Plenty Attractive Enough by like, I dunno, 98% of all guys.
This is making me wonder: has anybody really identified the disparity between the face men want to impress other men, vs. the face women actually find most attractive? I’m guessing there’s less of a gap in that case, even if the looksmaxxing cultists are pursuing an obvious exaggerated ideal. Back when I was a young dude in the mid-late 2000s, the ideal to me seemed to be “could pass for Final Fantasy protagonist with big fluffy hair and soft androgynous facial features,” and often felt I looked ugly compared to this abstract subcultural ideal. Now at 38, I’m more pleased with my appearance than ever, despite having less hair, due to embracing my natural suburban cowboy aesthetic.
It's a really interesting question. If you've got time to go down a research rabbit hole, there are a number of studies on this, and both men and women are pretty bad at knowing what the other finds attractive.
For instance, there was a study done in 2024 titled "Misperception of the facial appearance that the opposite-sex desires" which found that there was a "substantial misperception of what men and women predict the opposite sex to desire in terms of sexual dimorphism of face shape. Men overestimate the masculinity women desire, and women overestimate the femininity men desire. "
I totally agree. It may be my age (gen X) but I've never understood the appeal of this look. I prefer the look of above woman in the before picture. She looks attractive and real. Exaggerated lips and ridiculous lashes are not appealing. But I guess I'm not the audience.
Wow - this was a fantastic article, well worth the read. For a short time in my life, I worked part time as a makeup artist for Estee Lauder (Origins) cosmetics. Oftentimes we were entirely converting/covering the face with the latest products and colors - ever changing, of course, with each new season and trend. After 20 minutes in a chair, women would leave looking entirely unlike themselves - in the most artificial ways - and spend hundreds of dollars in the process. Origins catered to a crowd wanting a more "natural" look, but other lines went all out on artificial colors and contours -
Interesting, thanks for sharing! Did you notice any recurring trends in what clients asked for? For instance, did they come in with a specific person's look in mind?
This is an excellent piece, and at the same time is just scratching the surface on this conversation.
Something that has occurred in women for centuries (probably forever) is the practice of self-objectification as an adaptive survival strategy. In a culture when women’s bodies are seen as commodities, we learn to objectify in an attempt to prevent harm. “Instagram Face” and “ozempic chic” are perhaps some of the most visible and drastic forms of this experience. Either way, the result is disembodiment which leads to a whole host of problems, many of which were mentioned above.
There is indeed a lot more to be said about this topic, especially as it relates to commodification of the body as a defense. If I’d had more time I’d have written a book!
Though it’s been a pernicious trend for most of history, the internet and social media, combined with new “medical” interventions, have supercharged both the scrutiny of, and ability to transform, bodies in a way that is frightening.
Especially for women, this commodification and disembodiment means chipping away at their individuality in favor of an artificial and technologically promoted “consensus.” It’s a brave new world, unfortunately.
Absolutely frightening! You are correct that the constant exposure to some idealized bodily form through social media and all throughout culture has supercharged what was already occurring in a less visible form. And, as you mentioned in the article, it is no longer relegated to a “woman’s issue.” Men and boys are exposed just as much and cannot swim in the polluted water of the culture without being deformed by it (at least not without actively interrupting that cycle of formation). As a woman, a mother of daughters, and a mental health therapist, I can’t state strongly enough how important this conversation is. Keep doing the work!
Lol your holding image is me, doing Instagram face for an article that I wrote for the BBC about the phenomenon, about a year before Tolentino. Hers was better than mine tbf but I do think I was the first journalist to write about it
Wow, of all the people to stumble onto this! I'm glad you have a sense of humor about it! I've updated the credit to link to your Substack. And honestly, 'I wrote about Instagram face before Jia Tolentino' deserves to be in your bio. Do you have a link to the original piece?
This is a great article. And it touches upon many critical angles, though the topic itself is so complex that it would absolutely warrant a full book. I go back to the concept of ego, self-righteousness, and vanity as a rejection of God.
We were all given different crosses to bear, some are physical (being short, plain, having scoliosis, big nose, thin hair etc.), some are invisible (mental issues, self-esteem, or depression). But we are also *all* given the guide to salvation and self-acceptance and eudaimonia. We could find purpose, and we could see the light. It's not a secret.
This idea that *we* get to decide to simply erase that cross is such a great example of a monumental human vanity.
Your face is a record of everything you've gone through, and it beams your inner light. If there's no light, no amount of plastic surgery will cover for that.
Personally, as a woman in her 50s, I have to say the pressure *is* tremendous. Not the external stuff, that doesn't mean anything. But I noticed my own internal struggle. I feel so young, why is my face sagging and not reflecting the youthful spirit? It's disheartening.
But there is an important distinction: 1. it's one thing to try to bring beauty in the world, showing gratitude for being here at all, dressing nicely, with intention. This is a celebration of what has been given to us, an expression of gratitude. We care about our appearance because we signal to God our gratitude. We are constantly striving to live good lives, and that includes attention to appearance as a way to glorify and celebrate the Maker. Creation of beauty in everything is how we try to reach the ultimate Creator.
2. And then there is dressing nicely and altering one's face and body permanently for *our* sake or for the sake of others. It's a rejection of what was given to us. Defying the Creator and insisting on knowing better, discarding the cross as an inconvenience, a blemish to be dealt with.
Bring up an interesting question, over the last five weeks or so I have been to several Ear Nose Throat doctor's appointments. Apparently, I have a severely deviated septum in my nose and one of the things they want me to consider is surgery to straighten the septum. Now this would be a medical, not a cosmetic procedure, but ironically, it could very well result in a cosmetic improvement in how my nose and then overall face looks.
People who get a lot of cosmetic surgery generally end up ruining their looks. Michael Jackson. Jocelyn Wildenstein. Donatella Versaci. Lauren Sanchez. And many others. These weren’t burn victims or people with severe birth defects; there was nothing wrong with their natural faces, in fact they were all nice-looking people. But they chased some “ideal” and made themselves grotesque. With a few exceptions ( a huge nose, multiple warts and moles) plastic surgery is an irreversible mistake. Spend that money on an expert make-up artist who can teach you the art of illusion. or, better yet, quit worrying about your face and do something constructive and create good in the world.
I just searched about Jocelyn wendelstein and I discovered that she did cosmetic surgery because she wanted to impress her husband. He loved cats and she wanted to look like one. She spent 4 million dollars to get her face lifted and that she could have those feline 😦 looks.
I think there is a disease in this world.
You had a point.
Why not meet a make up artist to creat an illusion of what you want to look like instead of going through a series of surgical procedures that are irriversible
I guess just like we sound different in our heads then in reality, we think we look different then we actually do.
"Viewing your face, or any part of your body, as an object to be modified changes your relationship to it in a way that rejects its God-given nature. Every person is made in the image of God in their own way, and to reject that through radical intervention is a refusal to accept a gift of God."
You are also a product of your ancestors. Their DNA has shaped you to have a certain face, a certain body, that is unique to you and that can't be replicated by anyone else unless you have an identical twin. Thankfully, though, CRISPR will fix this long-standing issue and all humans will look the same and the world will be happy and racism will go the way of the dodo.
To each their own. I only couldn’t get pass how much time one has to spend on this on a daily basis. I think it is an unfair burden especially if the pressure was external - i.e. built-in bias, if you don’t look a certain way, you get points taken.
I do hope that you don't mind I referenced this article briefly in one of my own. Great read that actually inspired what I wrote yesterday in my sleepless haze.
Great stuff. It’s striking to me how different the ideal female face is depending on the audience - the ones shown in this article are the ideal, in the eyes of other women, rather than the ideal to men. I straight-up don’t think most men like this look, just like how most men prefer simple, short, or minimalist fingernails and don’t care for elaborate knife-fingernails. The girls trying to maximize their appeal to men have their own ideal template that seems to be descended from Belle Delphine and that OK Boomer girl. But really, I don’t think most guys are real hard to please - that girl on the left side of the thumbnail would be considered Plenty Attractive Enough by like, I dunno, 98% of all guys.
This is making me wonder: has anybody really identified the disparity between the face men want to impress other men, vs. the face women actually find most attractive? I’m guessing there’s less of a gap in that case, even if the looksmaxxing cultists are pursuing an obvious exaggerated ideal. Back when I was a young dude in the mid-late 2000s, the ideal to me seemed to be “could pass for Final Fantasy protagonist with big fluffy hair and soft androgynous facial features,” and often felt I looked ugly compared to this abstract subcultural ideal. Now at 38, I’m more pleased with my appearance than ever, despite having less hair, due to embracing my natural suburban cowboy aesthetic.
It's a really interesting question. If you've got time to go down a research rabbit hole, there are a number of studies on this, and both men and women are pretty bad at knowing what the other finds attractive.
For instance, there was a study done in 2024 titled "Misperception of the facial appearance that the opposite-sex desires" which found that there was a "substantial misperception of what men and women predict the opposite sex to desire in terms of sexual dimorphism of face shape. Men overestimate the masculinity women desire, and women overestimate the femininity men desire. "
I totally agree. It may be my age (gen X) but I've never understood the appeal of this look. I prefer the look of above woman in the before picture. She looks attractive and real. Exaggerated lips and ridiculous lashes are not appealing. But I guess I'm not the audience.
Wow - this was a fantastic article, well worth the read. For a short time in my life, I worked part time as a makeup artist for Estee Lauder (Origins) cosmetics. Oftentimes we were entirely converting/covering the face with the latest products and colors - ever changing, of course, with each new season and trend. After 20 minutes in a chair, women would leave looking entirely unlike themselves - in the most artificial ways - and spend hundreds of dollars in the process. Origins catered to a crowd wanting a more "natural" look, but other lines went all out on artificial colors and contours -
Interesting, thanks for sharing! Did you notice any recurring trends in what clients asked for? For instance, did they come in with a specific person's look in mind?
This is an excellent piece, and at the same time is just scratching the surface on this conversation.
Something that has occurred in women for centuries (probably forever) is the practice of self-objectification as an adaptive survival strategy. In a culture when women’s bodies are seen as commodities, we learn to objectify in an attempt to prevent harm. “Instagram Face” and “ozempic chic” are perhaps some of the most visible and drastic forms of this experience. Either way, the result is disembodiment which leads to a whole host of problems, many of which were mentioned above.
Thank you for your kind comment.
There is indeed a lot more to be said about this topic, especially as it relates to commodification of the body as a defense. If I’d had more time I’d have written a book!
Though it’s been a pernicious trend for most of history, the internet and social media, combined with new “medical” interventions, have supercharged both the scrutiny of, and ability to transform, bodies in a way that is frightening.
Especially for women, this commodification and disembodiment means chipping away at their individuality in favor of an artificial and technologically promoted “consensus.” It’s a brave new world, unfortunately.
Absolutely frightening! You are correct that the constant exposure to some idealized bodily form through social media and all throughout culture has supercharged what was already occurring in a less visible form. And, as you mentioned in the article, it is no longer relegated to a “woman’s issue.” Men and boys are exposed just as much and cannot swim in the polluted water of the culture without being deformed by it (at least not without actively interrupting that cycle of formation). As a woman, a mother of daughters, and a mental health therapist, I can’t state strongly enough how important this conversation is. Keep doing the work!
Great article!
Lol your holding image is me, doing Instagram face for an article that I wrote for the BBC about the phenomenon, about a year before Tolentino. Hers was better than mine tbf but I do think I was the first journalist to write about it
Wow, of all the people to stumble onto this! I'm glad you have a sense of humor about it! I've updated the credit to link to your Substack. And honestly, 'I wrote about Instagram face before Jia Tolentino' deserves to be in your bio. Do you have a link to the original piece?
Oh thanks! Haha my friend sent it to me this morning! I seem to recall that my editor at the BBC didn't believe Instagram face was a thing but here we go: https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/5c237a34-7a47-4deb-a5b4-a23e77cc88f7
This is a great article. And it touches upon many critical angles, though the topic itself is so complex that it would absolutely warrant a full book. I go back to the concept of ego, self-righteousness, and vanity as a rejection of God.
We were all given different crosses to bear, some are physical (being short, plain, having scoliosis, big nose, thin hair etc.), some are invisible (mental issues, self-esteem, or depression). But we are also *all* given the guide to salvation and self-acceptance and eudaimonia. We could find purpose, and we could see the light. It's not a secret.
This idea that *we* get to decide to simply erase that cross is such a great example of a monumental human vanity.
Your face is a record of everything you've gone through, and it beams your inner light. If there's no light, no amount of plastic surgery will cover for that.
Personally, as a woman in her 50s, I have to say the pressure *is* tremendous. Not the external stuff, that doesn't mean anything. But I noticed my own internal struggle. I feel so young, why is my face sagging and not reflecting the youthful spirit? It's disheartening.
But there is an important distinction: 1. it's one thing to try to bring beauty in the world, showing gratitude for being here at all, dressing nicely, with intention. This is a celebration of what has been given to us, an expression of gratitude. We care about our appearance because we signal to God our gratitude. We are constantly striving to live good lives, and that includes attention to appearance as a way to glorify and celebrate the Maker. Creation of beauty in everything is how we try to reach the ultimate Creator.
2. And then there is dressing nicely and altering one's face and body permanently for *our* sake or for the sake of others. It's a rejection of what was given to us. Defying the Creator and insisting on knowing better, discarding the cross as an inconvenience, a blemish to be dealt with.
That's some ego, isn't it?
This is a masterpiece. LORD!
This is exactly what the world needs!
Interestingly enough, the men who accompanied them (husbands, boyfriends) encouraged a more natural, less made up look.
That seems to track with the studies on the differences between men and women’s facial aesthetic preferences. Thanks for sharing!
Bring up an interesting question, over the last five weeks or so I have been to several Ear Nose Throat doctor's appointments. Apparently, I have a severely deviated septum in my nose and one of the things they want me to consider is surgery to straighten the septum. Now this would be a medical, not a cosmetic procedure, but ironically, it could very well result in a cosmetic improvement in how my nose and then overall face looks.
It sounds like the aesthetic "improvement" would be incidental to the medical and health benefits. It would be difficult to fault you for that!
People who get a lot of cosmetic surgery generally end up ruining their looks. Michael Jackson. Jocelyn Wildenstein. Donatella Versaci. Lauren Sanchez. And many others. These weren’t burn victims or people with severe birth defects; there was nothing wrong with their natural faces, in fact they were all nice-looking people. But they chased some “ideal” and made themselves grotesque. With a few exceptions ( a huge nose, multiple warts and moles) plastic surgery is an irreversible mistake. Spend that money on an expert make-up artist who can teach you the art of illusion. or, better yet, quit worrying about your face and do something constructive and create good in the world.
I just searched about Jocelyn wendelstein and I discovered that she did cosmetic surgery because she wanted to impress her husband. He loved cats and she wanted to look like one. She spent 4 million dollars to get her face lifted and that she could have those feline 😦 looks.
I think there is a disease in this world.
You had a point.
Why not meet a make up artist to creat an illusion of what you want to look like instead of going through a series of surgical procedures that are irriversible
I guess just like we sound different in our heads then in reality, we think we look different then we actually do.
"Viewing your face, or any part of your body, as an object to be modified changes your relationship to it in a way that rejects its God-given nature. Every person is made in the image of God in their own way, and to reject that through radical intervention is a refusal to accept a gift of God."
You are also a product of your ancestors. Their DNA has shaped you to have a certain face, a certain body, that is unique to you and that can't be replicated by anyone else unless you have an identical twin. Thankfully, though, CRISPR will fix this long-standing issue and all humans will look the same and the world will be happy and racism will go the way of the dodo.
To each their own. I only couldn’t get pass how much time one has to spend on this on a daily basis. I think it is an unfair burden especially if the pressure was external - i.e. built-in bias, if you don’t look a certain way, you get points taken.
I do hope that you don't mind I referenced this article briefly in one of my own. Great read that actually inspired what I wrote yesterday in my sleepless haze.
Not at all!